Saturday, October 10, 2015

The Indoctrination of Akshay

"Promise me you will not drink".

I took a deep breath and let the silence sink right back in. The phrase "pin drop silence" started to resonate louder in my head. While I plotted my next move, the static rose again as the skype call brought her voice back to life.

"Akshay, promise me".

I never give my word because I always end up breaking it but there was something persistent in that voice. She never calls me Akshay unless she really means it.I knew she would not give up and she knew I could not ignore her. Alcohol had become my refuge over the past few months and I could already feel my throat ache for more.

" Maybe if I could drink perhaps one a week" I pleaded hopefully.

"No No No"

"Once in a month, then ? " The pause on the line was either a skype buffering failure or a faltering and weakening resolve. " So just once a month then" I pushed on, more confident this time.

"Yes but no more than two pegs" she stated firmly. Then, knowing me she proceeds to define the measurement of a peg, in accordance to the nature of drink consumed. Damn that smart woman, I think to myself as she rattles on to define the permissible alcohol levels. With her strict instructions, I knew there was no way I would get drunk again.

"You promise" She questions my resolve gingerly

"Yes" I give in to the woman I owe everything.

"Thank you" she replies crisply but failing entirely to conceal the gloating triumph.

It was the early half of May when this conversation came to pass. Months of debauchery had blessed me with a paunch and a serious hankering for alcohol. With winter fast approaching her request could not have come at a better time (sarcasm). I gave up the remaining bottles of alcohol to my friends after symbolically dumping one down the kitchen sink in mournful and respectful silence.

It was hard the next few months as I worked hard to avoid alcohol and events where I knew I would find my favorite elixirs. My friends did absolutely nothing to help me in my predicament. The reactions ranged for bewilderment to disgust as their alcohol laced minds refused to digest this juice-less titbit from my life. Some tried to question my intentions - Did I do this to get the woman ? Did I do this to win her affections ? Others thought this was some weird stunt for me to shed weight or improve my financial situation.

As months passed, I remained single, sober, fat and financially unsound with impulse purchases. Slowly people began to accept my sobriety and ensure that there would always be some juice box around for me at parties. I started to host parties at my place unperturbed by the alcohol that freely flowed around or the stacks of bottles that remained in my fridge afterward. I am free of my need for alcohol once again.

I wont say that I see things clearly now or that there is any change in my life. Year ago I took up drinking due to a woman in my life and now I have given it up for another person. I conformed with the needs of one woman to fit into her social circles and expectations. Now I have given it up to honor yet another request that however has my health only as a core interest. Conformation seems much easier and my resistances are much weaker. I am the willing and the indoctrinated

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