Life Assurance

The lady across the table, refused to meet my eye and that surprised me. This was the same woman who talked to me incessantly for an hour and nearly held my hand to ensure that I signed the papers. However this time, she seemed to shift in her seat and the conversation moved along slowly. She seemed aloof and the fact that I was abroad,making more money didn't seem to interest her the way I thought it should. Sensing the lull in the conversation, she makes an abrupt gesture and pulls out a wad of papers that she slams on the table.

Finally, I think the lady's back to business and I waited for the pitch that I had priming myself for the minute she called for a meeting. But that pitch never came and the awkwardness continued. Did she need help from me ? Was her new marketing style desperation and self loathing?? I was trying to focus my eyes so that I could read those papers in front when she finally drops it on me.

"You need to change your nominee !"

The statement takes some time to register and I look blankly at her face. Then it hits me and everything about the meeting makes instant sense.

"Your life insurance policies still have her as nominee"

She looks me in the eye for the first time and  I knew exactly what that look meant. It's been a year and I still get that look. Friends and family walk on eggshells around me, trying their best not to say something insensitive to me. When the conversation tends to meander itself to the previous year, the look happens. Its that intense search for a change in expression, stance or tone in me, to see if I stiffen, get flustered or lose my cool. Its a look I've learnt to counter and quite masterfully may I add. 

I look her back in the eye and keeping an even tone I coolly ask her 

"Are those the forms to update the nominee? "

"Yes, but since your premium was split over 21 policies, it will need you to sign that many forms" she apologetically replies.

"Lets get to it", I respond as I grab my pen and begin what was the most number of times I signed my name in an hour.Years back on the day of her birthday, I decided that there should be something that is immediately available to her if something did happen to me. That and terrible financial planning made me listen to this lady sitting in front of me who for a better commission sold me 21 insurance policies. 

Each change of nomination form required 3 signatures and as I went through them silently, she tried her best to strike a conversation. Something about her understanding my situation,asking me to stay strong, reassuring me that there are more fish in the sea and the usual spiel on moving on with life. She then brought up the story of own personal life and then I realized that she was divorced as well. Just when I felt that her eyes were turning misty,I questioned her regarding the signatures and I managed to divert the conversation from that path completely.

I know I should have shown more empathy at that point of time and listened to her story and taken her advice. However listening to people telling me to move on and live has started to sicken me a little. I do not have to prove that I have moved on and they have no right to assume that I haven't either. So I resort to my standard smile and thank routine that gets me through such conversation.

 I hand over the signed papers to her and thank her for coming over to fix this personally.

As she leaves she turns and gives me a crafty smile.

"Call me the next time you want to change the nominee"