Diet

Like every other person with an eating disorder, I have my weaknesses when it comes to my metabolic intake. In times of stress and distress, I find solace in fast food and biryanis which I wash down with large bottles of aerated drinks. Roughly around November, 2012 when my personal life started to unravel, I embarked on what was an exercise in gluttony. Restaurant owners knew me on first name basis, delivery boys would greet me with a knowing smile as their fingers ached under the weight of my routine orders and friends would struggle to hide their dismay at my ballooning figure.

The year 2013 did not bring anything better in my fortunes.Work was hectic,my marriage was in shambles and I never felt lonelier in life.I took my binge eating to an entirely new level. The effects on me was more prominent than ever and I began to closely resemble the Michelin Man. 

Round about that time, an incident occurred that changed my perspectives for the better. During a lunch, while observing heaps of food on my plate and the large beef dish lying next to my plate, a friend casually asked me whether I'd checked my cholesterol lately. It was a simple innocuous question, innocently asked and without an attempt to sugar-coat reality and with the pungency of smelling salts, it jolted me up.

I went on a diet the very next day and it was the most faithful I've been on a diet. My No Carb - No Sugar-Low Fat diet went on for roughly 7 months and what a world of change it made to me and my life. I dropped 17 Kg, I shrunk 7 inches off my waist and I dropped a shirt size. My clothes began to resemble hand-me-downs and I fit into clothes I wore during my school days. Friends were amazed, foes turned green with envy and best of all I felt like a million bucks.I credited the weight loss to my amazing levels of self control and basked in the glorious world of narcissistic selfies which I sent to everybody I knew

Then in the month of October my divorce was finalized, my trip to South Africa crystallized and the thin healthy and happy  me made my way across the globe to South Africa. A week into my stay in the new country I found myself downing chicken wings,drinking soda and resuming gluttony again. 

How did I succumb to my old ways? What was the reason for my downfall ? Three months later, the answer is as apparent to me as my re-emerging tummy. No, I did not diet as some believe to look good for my divorce (Yes, that crazy opinion was actually given to me !!) The reason I managed to exercise  self control and lose this much weight and stay healthy was not what was on my plate but what was across the table. It was the people around me that motivated me to get healthy, who made the droll food on my plate palatable through their good humour,and egged me on to be a better version of me. Without them around, the only solace I find is in the food that I eat.

Yesterday I did realize that I cannot go on this way. I can't always depend on the people around me to carry me through life. I am on the look out for a fresh start and being a few stones lighter would be a great way to go about that.